Grumpy.

I was in the worst mood yesterday. The charger to the laptop is messed up, and my list was full of paperwork to get caught up on for The Siren- Furniture, Jewelry, Odds & Ends. Instead of recognizing it as some much needed break time, I just got mad. Then I fell asleep on the couch. Then I was grumpy when I woke up. Finally got the computer to work and, at that point, I was so frustrated that I didn’t even touch what I needed to do.  In a bit of a “no-one-can-see-it-but-I’ll-throw-one-anyway” type hissy, I gave up. My status on Facebook read:

Great! Now I have no computer to do Siren work on. Can I please catch a break???

Of course, other people were having bad days, too.  My response was:

You know, boys and girls, on my way to mom’s house I passed a man on the highway. He was sitting Indian style on the shoulder and surrounded by his things. He was drenched in sweat and my heart broke for him.

On my way back, an hour later, he was still there. Nowhere near town and sitting. I called the police, and I happen to know they took him to an address he had in Hardin. I have prayed for that man since I got home.

I think everyone has bad days. Someone else will always have a worse day. That doesn’t mean your problems don’t hold value. It also doesn’t mean we should be less thankful when we witness those who are having a better day than we are.

You matter. Your ideas matter. Your problems matter. Your blessings matter.

Helloooooo, Kettle. I didn’t hear a word I said, I guess.

I went to bed disappointed, and woke up at about 3:45 this morning in a complete anxiety attack. You know what’s worse than something bad happening? Not finding the good in it in time to enjoy it. I think I need some serious downtime.  I’ve been non-stop running since I started Project 10-12 and hitting The Siren as hard as I can. Not only am I exhausted, I think if my LEO ends up at the Academy for 20 weeks, I’ll wish I’d noticed he was home.  When little man is all grown up, I’ll wish I’d noticed he was little.

I wake up in a panic and have to make notes about things I need to do as soon as my feet hit the floor. I can’t even rest in my sleep.  People offer to help, but I can’t let go enough to allow them to do so (micro-management, anyone?). I pray for peace, but I don’t know how to accept it when it’s gift wrapped and laid in my lap.  It’s getting quite out of hand, and I’m thinking it will probably catch up to me if I’m not careful.

I think God was pushing me to take that downtime yesterday afternoon to enjoy with the boys.  I missed it.  I’ll try not to let that happen again.

Yawn.

Brandi

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with  thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which  surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ  Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7

Aside

And now…we wait.

Mercy, what a day. My LEO is to the background portion of his KSP process.  It’s been a long journey. I know what it’s like to get on stage alone and feel vulnerable, but to feel that way because you want something so badly for someone else makes one feel helpless. I definitely felt that way today as we sat with the detective in our living room. There’s still work to do, but was reminded today that God has a plan and a future for us.

Doesn’t make me want to flip to the last page and find out what that means any less, though.

The detective doing his investigation is just awesome. He was so nice, and reminded me of many of our trooper friends here.  He’s from another post, and I can only imagine how all of this weighs on him.  It must be a crazy process.  The need everything about a potential recruit; even high school references.  I don’t envy him at all.  I’ve been told every investigator is different. I thank God we got a good one.  There’s still some paperwork to be gathered and remitted.

At least my house is super clean!

My LEO is cool as a cucumber. No matter what, he is doing what he loves. I’m a nervous wreck on the other hand. I’ve prayed and prayed, missed a lot of sleep and really felt like I was losing my mind in the last week.  We definitely need the extra money that would come, and I know he would be happier there.  Making ends meet is proving itself to be a task difficult to handle, but I doubt most couldn’t relate to that.

Overwhelmed to say the least, and appreciative of any prayers you might spare.  Project 10-12 is going well, though.  Wishing I could find a way to fund my Eastern KY portion, as the t-shirts haven’t shown themselves to be the answer.  I just don’t know.  Looking forward to my stop in Bowling Green this weekend, though!

I just need a break in the current, and a little peace.  I have faith I’ll find it.

xo

Brandi

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11

Project 10-12

pwl

 

Y’all- I have a dream.

I’ve dubbed it “Project 10-12”.  I discussed the project with my LEO a few weeks ago, who thought it was a cool idea.  He did say “That’s a lot of driving. From here to Richmond is several hours.” I reminded him it wasn’t my first rodeo, and that I was ridiculously pregnant the last time I was in Richmond (to see him graduate from DOCJT! (Cue Rosy the Riveter arm).  He’ll be joining me for much of the big trips.

What exactly do I hope to accomplish?

• Ride along with 12 departments from across the state
• Take pictures with the department with which I ride, and hopefully other LEOWs across the state
• Scrapbook pictures/mementos from trip
• Obtain a patch from each department with which I ride
• Make quilt featuring each patch
• Auction quilt on Ebay
• Donate money to the Kentucky Peace Officers Association (keepers of the Jason Ellis Memorial Fund, as well as a lot of other great projects. More info here: http://www.kpoa.info/)

So far, I’ve ridden with Mayfield PD and Graves County SD. They have been SO welcoming and wonderful. I’ve had a terrific response from agencies across the state, and am looking forward to seeing new places and meeting new people. Yesterday, I rode with my first K-9 unit. Here are some things I learned:

  • Don’t do drugs. You don’t know where they’ve been…and you’re probably better off not knowing.
  • If you hear an LEO say, “stop”…you should probably just go ahead and stop whatever it is you’re doing. If the LEO says stop, then you hear a bark, you should probably stop what you’re doing and talk to Jesus, too.
  • Sig 5 seems to translate to the universe as “time for someone to make a bad decision”
  • EMTs are always nice. EMTs that bring you a random Gatorade are my favorite.
  • Nurses don’t get paid enough.

God bless our LEOs. Their professionalism and focus on saving lives, even with people who don’t return the grace, is something to be admired.

am  selling t-shirts on Teespring to help with this adventure. If you’d like to help (please help!) you can get yours here: www.teespring.com/policewivesofkentucky 

The incidentals are going to add up and, hey, you don’t become a cop because you want to get rich.  Haha! 🙂 I’ve got 5 days to finish meeting our goal- or NONE of them will print. Check out the back!

hdwback

Please pray for this journey to be a safe, productive one.  Sending love!

-Brandi

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