Grumpy.

I was in the worst mood yesterday. The charger to the laptop is messed up, and my list was full of paperwork to get caught up on for The Siren- Furniture, Jewelry, Odds & Ends. Instead of recognizing it as some much needed break time, I just got mad. Then I fell asleep on the couch. Then I was grumpy when I woke up. Finally got the computer to work and, at that point, I was so frustrated that I didn’t even touch what I needed to do.  In a bit of a “no-one-can-see-it-but-I’ll-throw-one-anyway” type hissy, I gave up. My status on Facebook read:

Great! Now I have no computer to do Siren work on. Can I please catch a break???

Of course, other people were having bad days, too.  My response was:

You know, boys and girls, on my way to mom’s house I passed a man on the highway. He was sitting Indian style on the shoulder and surrounded by his things. He was drenched in sweat and my heart broke for him.

On my way back, an hour later, he was still there. Nowhere near town and sitting. I called the police, and I happen to know they took him to an address he had in Hardin. I have prayed for that man since I got home.

I think everyone has bad days. Someone else will always have a worse day. That doesn’t mean your problems don’t hold value. It also doesn’t mean we should be less thankful when we witness those who are having a better day than we are.

You matter. Your ideas matter. Your problems matter. Your blessings matter.

Helloooooo, Kettle. I didn’t hear a word I said, I guess.

I went to bed disappointed, and woke up at about 3:45 this morning in a complete anxiety attack. You know what’s worse than something bad happening? Not finding the good in it in time to enjoy it. I think I need some serious downtime.  I’ve been non-stop running since I started Project 10-12 and hitting The Siren as hard as I can. Not only am I exhausted, I think if my LEO ends up at the Academy for 20 weeks, I’ll wish I’d noticed he was home.  When little man is all grown up, I’ll wish I’d noticed he was little.

I wake up in a panic and have to make notes about things I need to do as soon as my feet hit the floor. I can’t even rest in my sleep.  People offer to help, but I can’t let go enough to allow them to do so (micro-management, anyone?). I pray for peace, but I don’t know how to accept it when it’s gift wrapped and laid in my lap.  It’s getting quite out of hand, and I’m thinking it will probably catch up to me if I’m not careful.

I think God was pushing me to take that downtime yesterday afternoon to enjoy with the boys.  I missed it.  I’ll try not to let that happen again.

Yawn.

Brandi

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with  thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which  surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ  Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7

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