I can remember in 2008, watching as he’d get the letter saying it wasn’t his time.  Someone was certified, someone was more qualified, someone knew someone- whatever. It wasn’t his time to go to DOCJT.  I can remember “the look”, every time, and the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as he’d throw it away.  Why on Earth they didn’t understand how ridiculously awesome he would be at being an officer was beyond me.

FINALLY, in a bit of an unorthodox way, he found his place at his PD.  DOCJT came and went. I was super pregnant. Life moved on daily, until it abruptly ceased to go according to plan. Feelings were hurt, disappointment was experienced, growth occurred and, now, resilience is seen.

As I find myself in the same 2008-esque position all over again, I am comparably less full of anxiety.  I am so glad to see the swift action of answered prayers, because they don’t always happen that way.

So, here we go! Rather than being nervous, I am beyond excited.  We were given an amazing tip by a friend and, in the past few days, have made some great connections with new folks.  I have never felt more optimistic about it all. However, I have a really hard time stepping aside and letting things play out. I want to have my hand in it, have a full report and be immediately aware of things as they change/occur.  It’s been incredibly difficult to adjust to the occasional “do nothing” whisper.  Doing nothing, however, allows for vindication, positive change and room for hearts to be untangled.  What a beautiful thing! A really hard concept, but a beautiful thing.  I’m working on it.

At some point, I’ve realized in the past 3 days, it’s time to stop beating on doors and just follow the One who built the hallway



xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo (xo)



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