What good is praying for rain, if you don’t carry an umbrella?

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24

“Look.  I understand You have Your timing.  I understand there’s a purpose to this storm. I even get the fact that it’s all under control.  All I’m saying is, if we’re going to wait- does it have to be a silent waiting period? Do I have to feel like You’re holding out? Can I not just get SOME sort of idea of what’s going on? What we need is some hope, and a sign that You’re still working on it.  I feel like You’re telling me to rest, but what I feel is stagnation.  Just…….something. Please?”

I probably look like a maniac in my car.  I do a lot of out-loud praying there, and maybe folks just assume I’m singing to the radio. I don’t know.  I cry a lot, too, during these Drive and Talks…so probably not.  This particular conversation happened at least a week ago.  My LEO is still not working and, yet, we’ve managed to make ends meet.  No one is starving in our house, but we are seriously ready for that second income again.

I am so grateful for the nudge out of complacency, and excited about the next chapter. I have no doubt, after many nights of introspection, that this is exactly what needed to happen.  That need to turn the page, though, is nearly overwhelming.  I’m a “fly by the seat of my pants, instant gratification, let’s move” kinda girl.  Waiting is not my strong suit.

Today, I got a call that let me know we will hopefully be hearing about a job for him soon.  Soon, though, may be another month.  My heart sank.

“Really? MORE waiting? Can we not just get this show on the road? I have vacation time to schedule, there are bills to be paid,  holidays coming up, a business to run, promotions to plan, PWoK events to organize…”

And there it was.

All you asked for was hope, and to see I still had my hands on things.”

You can’t argue with that.

You just can’t.

So deep breath in, deep breath out.


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