The Good Kind of Empty

Cupped hands full of fresh water. Clear, but unstable. Slowly leaking through the cracks of your shaking palms, as you squeeze them together tighter, hoping to preserve every drop.

This is a solid representation of the vision I’ve had the past few weeks. This is what my life has looked like, and why I’ve felt so overwhelmed but still motionless. My hands have been so full of evaporating undertakings, while trying to keep all the drops in place has been a futile effort.

God told me to empty my hands so that He could fill them with something new, but I was so invested in my small waters that I couldn’t see opening my hands and letting it go. Surely He meant just make room for more, right?

While I certainly don’t have many “riches” to sell, Matthew 19:22 really spoke to me. I was investing my time and energy in a lot of places that weren’t Jesus. Even though they were good and meant for good with all of my heart, they weren’t Jesus. I was sacrificing so much, but it wasn’t for Jesus.

It was for people.

People are important and we should sacrifice to serve one another, as long as our eyes are on *Jesus*.

Here’s the truth: Continuing to do what I want, if it’s not what God has planned, will not serve anyone. In fact, it will show itself to be a detriment, no matter what the intentions behind it are. You better believe that anything that takes your eyes of Jesus is not your calling. I could talk about this idea for days, and how our dreams can be a cloak for distraction.

I kept being told to empty my hands, and be ready to do what He wants me to do. My calendar/energy level/stress level/emotional capacity just wouldn’t “allow” it.

Last week, I finally said ok. I laid it all down. I decided not to take on any new obligations for a cause that I’ve dedicated myself to for 3 years, and free myself up to pursue Jesus. I don’t even know what exactly that means, quite yet, but I know I won’t be left hanging. I can’t tell you the peace I’ve had since that day. At first, it was a little like a breakup, and I cried (a lot). I then realized that what was built still has purpose and will be sustained if it’s meant to. However, I’ve been called to purse a different purpose, and a new season.

I’m just waiting on orders, and I expect them to mean big changes for my life.

God is so good. SO good. I am nothing without Him and fail every single day as a human being. I’ll never earn what He has freely given but, when I get to heaven, I want to say I did what I was called to do- when I was called to do it.


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