Prayer for My Tiniest Warrior

Lord Jesus,

Precious, heavenly Savior- you are Holy. You are loving and also just. I know, in your infinite wisdom, You do all things according to your plan for good and I know You love me. None of these are debatable. I know that I struggle with living in a state of thankfulness, but I am definitely thankful that you love me with my flaws.

Lord, you know what my battles have been with my children. You know you have two with you now that I miss so very much. My heart still breaks each time I think about things like the upcoming Christmas season and the magic we’d be preparing…

My first child, Lord, is humble(ish), resilient, loving and kind. He’s empathetic. He is cautious. He loves bigger than what’s safe for his heart sometimes, and he sought You out early. He is incredibly bright and is always excited when he knows he’s lived in a way that reflects You. He is full of snuggles and creativity. He is a good boy.

But, Lord… this second child.

Somewhere in the 7-8 years between them, You said You had a plan. I’m not sure why this plan involved aging me 20 years in 1, but it’s here and it’s happening. Lord, this child is beautiful- but mostly so when she’s asleep. You saw a moment ago when she somehow managed to climb onto the couch and try to go headfirst over the back in a split second. You know she already has a matching scar to mine because she dove into the leg of a futon bed at Big Lots. You know she will eat anything she finds without discrimination. There are not enough child safety locks at Walmart, and it wouldn’t matter. She’ll bypass those, too.

You know she is constantly tearing down, destroying, running, hiding things, destroying the house to the point that if we were robbed- they’d leave thinking someone had already been here. Lord this child. This child is strong willed, independent, strong and braaaaaaave. She is not the cautious kind like my first. She is, too, incredibly bright- but she doesn’t use her powers for good. OH NO. She is plotting, Lord. I think she lays in bed and wonders exactly what she will wake up to rampage next. This girl does not snuggle.

She is the size of a 3 year old, with the same strength and speed. However, her mind is still just 1 and she is able to actually do the things most children only think about doing.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say you gave me both my babies back in one chaotic, red-headed whirlwind of destruction and vengeance.

Lord I pray you channel this child’s energy, will, intelligence and determination into good or else we are ALL in trouble. She is going to hijack one of the horses in Revelation and ride on. She is, without a doubt, waiting her time to do things her way… but I pray she instead chooses to do them YOUR way.

Until then, I stand by with a first aid kit and my anxiety pills. I need you to send lots of angels her way to stand guard. I love them both, but this girl is a handful.

I pray someday she will use her strong characteristics to make the change she believes in. THAT I understand, and I can’t wait to see what sort of impact she has on the world. Until then, though, I’m gonna need a lot more peace and patience… maybe also the ability to call her shots right before they happen.

I’m glad one of us knows what they’re doing…and what she’s planning on doing.

I have to go now. As you can see, she is about to start tossing things over the stair railing to see what happens. Send help.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

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